x3; Saturday, September 09, 2006

it wasn't expected at all.
i was trying to read but i kept going over the same line. the same line, over and over and over again. i wanted to keep reading. i wanted to block out reality and keep dwelling in the world the book welcomed me to but i couldn't. i'm still trying to read the line over again. i gave up. i loooked at the page number and went over what she just told me. it hurt. my stomach turned and i felt like throwing up. i felt my eyes burning. i quickly found where i left off. i continued reading the story. determined to zone out once again. it was not working. i continued to feel sick. my mind kept creeping back to reality. what was i to do. she was waiting for a reaction. I had to be strong cos that's who i came off to be. i was strong and proud. i chuckled. and finally words came to my mouth. i dont care, raelly. it dusnt matter.
i convinced myself that that was true and for a moment it worked. i continued my reading but who was i fooling? my hopes now crushed. how was anyone supposed to feel if that happened?! but im fine. its cool. u move on from things like this and u take away a preciious lesson. and that was me talking proud again. who am i fooling? only myself.



happy birthday vinh :) best of wishes. luv;